Monday, September 7, 2015

Life And Funerals: Trying To Find A Sense Of Normalcy

OK~ I've got a lot on my mind. Have you ever felt like you have had enough of life when it comes to funerals? My life is going good... and then bam, reality sinks in, as another person has passed away in our community that I have a connection with. I've been thinking a lot about this the past nine months, as I have had several funerals to attend where I really think about life.

If there is one thing that nobody ever told me was the fact that once you hit your Middle 40's, you need to seriously stock up on the sympathy cards. From relatives to neighbors to friends, a lot of people have passed away the past few months. I need to seriously accept the fact that death is a part of life. I think I do, but then when another death hits, I realize that I have not accepted it.

A couple things have made me think..... It becomes really challenging when you live where you grew up. It's expected that you will attend the visitation and the funeral. Now, in all honesty, it becomes mentally challenging to do both and even in some cases to attend both. When two funerals are back to back, it really becomes trying on the mind. I think I have a good handle on that... I do have that large stockpile of sympathy cards on hand now. It became too trying to head to the Hallmark store every time a death occurred. I will say this, I do miss the personalization that I felt I got when I went to the actual store, but in all reality; having a box on hand at home is making life a little less stressful.

We had a terrific holiday weekend, as we got our 24 year old son settled into his new apartment and spent yesterday watching our 20 year old son participate in his passion- a national trapshooting meet. Life is good- I really need to focus on the positive.

If there's one thing that Amy Hild taught me, it was to get out and live your life! Amy was one of North Iowa's biggest cheerleaders and she found joy in everything she did. So......I will move forward, live my life and focus on family, friends and all the joy that life has to bring. After All, It's All In A Mom's Day, Right?


  1. You have certainly had a lot to deal with this year as far as deaths and it stinks. I think you have a handle on it --but it does not make it any easier. I have made a lot of sympathy cards (and not just for Hospice) this year and it is always a tough thing but I do it because I know how much comfort I got when people sent cards to me when my dad died. Sometimes it is these parts of "growing up" that really are tough. You do have the added fact of living in your hometown, knowing so many people and having a lot of connections. But my experience has been that even if you don't go to the funeral or visitation a card several weeks later is truly appreciated. So don't beat yourself up about not going to every one. You are doing just fine.

  2. Happy you had a good holiday weekend with your family! Experiencing the deaths of so many friends and loved ones would be difficult. I think you make a good point about balancing self care with the expectation (or desire) to attend all of the visitations and funerals when they occur so close to each other.

    1. Thanks for your insight, Jeni. It's really hard when there are so many in such a short time frame. I hope others do understand the self care part, that's what I, at least hope.


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